it wasn't lemon gatorade
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
