Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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