this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
