Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
