Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
