You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
