Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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