after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
