that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
