just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
