i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
