my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Even my vagina gasped.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
