You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
