Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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