Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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