Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
how drunk are you?
Several
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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