you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
