Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
