can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
