I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Randomize
