She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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