JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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