I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
