my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
