Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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