I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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