he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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