yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
