I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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