I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
