How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
