those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
