dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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