I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
