I need help removing her.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
