It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
