is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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