I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
