In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
