ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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