i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
