The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
