everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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