So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This is classic penis vs brain.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Randomize
