what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
