3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We had sex on a dog bed..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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