Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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