the condom got lost in my hair
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
