jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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