Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
