It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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