Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
