I think my fart just growled at me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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